maturity

so as i sit alone in my one bedroom apartment watching forrest gump for the second time, i start two wonder........how did i get to this point? here i am, 26 years old, in melbourne florida. i play guitar for a living, i have a solid girlfriend that ive been with for over a year. i smoke weed, and drink, and do occasional drugs. some people consider me a star, but those people arent around me. i feel like the people who are around me may see me as a disappointment. or maybe im just the one disappointed in myself. i started this blog basically for self help. im not a religious person. i dont go to church. and i dont do confessionals. but i do see the value in expressing myself and talking about my concerns and problems. and also listening to feedback. writing blogs can be just as theraputic for me. i used to do it when i was younger, when livejournal first came out, and the only people who used it were teenagers. but now, ive been out of that loop for so long. but now im back.